hurting the one I love
by XxStephXx
Summary: James and Lily were married, they split up. Months later James finds out about Harry. Can they rekindle their love UPDATED WITH CH7 FINALLY!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One 

"Lily, what's going on?"

"What does it look like?"

James Potter had just walked into his living room, to find his wife Lily kissing some guy.

"GET OUT!" James roared at the guy, dragging his up by his collar, dragging him into the hall and throwing him out the front door.

"James, is there any need for that?" said Lily calmly, as she buttoned up the top buttons of her top.

"YES! YOU'RE MEANT TO BE MY WIFE AND I FIND YOU IN HERE SCREWING SOME GUY"

"Yeah and you were meant to be my husband, when you stuck your tongue down Kelly's throat," Lily shouted back.

"That was six months ago. I apologized a thousand times, it didn't mean anything. I thought we got past this"

"Well I thought you could do with a taste of your own medicine," said Lily

"You twisted bitch"

"It doesn't feel great does it? To know that the person you love doesn't want you anymore," said Lily sadly.

"I told you what I did, because I wanted to be honest with you," said James.

"Thanks for that"

"If I didn't want you, would I still be here?"

"Don't know why you bothered sticking around"

"Who the hell was that?"

"Why? Do you care?" said Lily.

"Of course I care, I'd like to know who is shagging my wife"

Lily just shrugged, "Some guy that hit on me"

"You did this to hurt me, didn't you? You did it to get back at me," said James.

"Yeah, I did. Now we're quits"

"No, now we're finished. You can't trust me, and I don't trust you"

"What?"

"You heard. What is the point is us staying together, when you clearly hate me as much as you do. This isn't a marriage, it's a childish game. What is the point? Are we going to grow old together and have a family together? Will we be happy together?" said James, the thought just hitting him.

"You're right there isn't any point. I'll come and pick up my things in the morning," said Lily, she appeared to be calm, but inside she was shocked.

"You don't have to I started this, I'll…"

"No, I'm going," she said firmly

"Okay"

Lily stood up and walked past James and out the front door. She couldn't believe it, her marriage had ended in just a few short minutes. If she had known that would happen, she would never have gone anywhere near that guy. She had just thought James would feel the way she felt, but then forgive her and they could get back to how they had been before he had told her he kissed Kelly.

"I don't hate you, I love you," Lily whispered after she had closed the front door behind herself. "and I always will"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 10 Months Later 

James was sitting in a restaurant, on a date with someone he met through work. She was talking but he wasn't listening. Even after almost a year, he still felt like he was betraying Lily. He still felt like a married man, even though technically he still was. He hadn't seen Lily since the night she left. The last he heard she had moved from London, to Manchester.

"Then we…. You're not listening are you?" said the woman, Karen maybe.

"Huh… sorry what?" said James dumbly.

"I didn't think so," said Karen getting up.

"Karen, wait…" said James half heartedly.

"It's Catherine," she said, "are you really sleeping with so many women, you can't keep the names straight," then she stormed out.

"No, I'm not," said James quietly.

He hadn't slept with anyone since Lily. He screwed up every date he went on, he always went back to thinking about Lily. Did he do the right thing by ending it? Should he file for divorce? Should he go and speak to her? They had sort of left everything up in the air. Neither had filed for divorce, but they hadn't spoken in almost a year. She could be dead for all he knew.

---------------------------------------------

"Sirius, what the hell happened?" James shouted. He had just been called to an emergency at St Mungo's maternity ward.

"Bastards broke in, and tried to take the newborns," said Sirius.

"Bastards. What can I do?"

"Um… I don't know how to tell you this, but Lily is here"

"Is she alright?" he asked automatically, his heart clenched in fear.

"Yeah, she's in the waiting room, with uh… the rest of the… mothers," said Sirius uncertainly.

"Mothers… she had a baby?"

"Yeah, you want to go and…."

"No, it can't be mine we've been separated for too long," said James sadly.

"Alright then, but you have to go into the waiting area, the mothers are becoming hysterical. The healers are with the babies trying to determine whether the babies do belong with the mothers that claim them…it's a big mess," said Sirius clearly stressed out.

"Alright," said James as he braced himself.

He walked into the waiting room. It was crammed with hysterical women in dressing gowns, screaming for their babies.

But through all them he saw her, she was the only one not in a dressing gown. She was wearing jeans and the green top he had given her for Christmas last year. She was hunched over her knees biting her nails.

"Finally someone, that knows what's going on," one of the mothers shouted when she spotted him.

"Where are our babies?"

"Listen ladies, the healers are with your children checking them over and making sure that they belong to who you say they belong to," said James, "So if you all just stay calm"

"That is easy for you to say, you aren't being kept from your child"

**-------------------------------**

An hour later 

"Okay, ladies you can see your babies now," said Sirius coming into the waiting room.

"Okay, Anderson…" announced Sirius, when the nurse brought in a baby, his mother got up and embraced her baby.

Finally it was just Lily left in the waiting room, she had noticed James a while ago, but couldn't bring herself to say anything or even look at him.

"And finally, Harry Potter," said Sirius with a knowing look.

The nurse brought in 3 month old Harry, who was the spitting image of James, except he had Lily's eyes.

"Thank god," said Lily almost in tears, "Thank you for looking after him, I only brought him in for his check up"

"He's fine, completely healthy," said the nurse kindly.

"Thank you, all of you," said Lily, holding Harry tight, aware of how James was looking at her.

"Come on Mildred, I think we deserve a quick break," said Sirius just about pushing the nurse out of the room and then following her out. Leaving Lily, James and Harry alone.

"Come on, little guy lets get you home," Lily said to Harry still clutching him to her tightly.

"Lily…"

"It's nice to see you again, James," said Lily politely, "I just really need to get home, I'm sure you understand"

"But the baby is he…"

"Yes, my baby seems alright. But I thought he was killed or worse today so I'm anxious to get him home"

"But is he… did you…"

"I thought I'd lost my baby," said Lily desperate to avoid this now.

"Is he mine?" asked James desperately grabbing Lily's arm.

"Look at him, what do you see?" said Lily picking up her things.

"A mirror"

"There's your answer," she said pulling open the door.

"But what about that other…"

"It would be hard to get pregnant from kissing a stranger," said Lily then said firmly, "goodbye" then she walked away with Harry leaving James gobsmacked.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 

It had taken him almost a week, but James had finally tracked Lily down. She was living in the outskirts of Manchester, with his son. Surprisingly it had been Lily's mother that had given him the address.

So now he was standing outside, preparing himself to go in. He didn't even know what he wanted to say, he didn't know how he felt yet. He just knew he had to talk to Lily, and see the baby.

Taking a deep breath, James walked up the garden path and rang the doorbell.

"Come in Mum, it's open," Lily shouted from inside.

Unsure what to do, James opened the door and walked in. It was clear that a baby lived there, a pram was sitting against the wall at the door. James could even smell the baby powder.

"I told you, you didn't need to come this morning. I'm not even hiring someone today, I'm just talking to the agency," Lily shouted from James could now tell was the kitchen.

"Sorry, your mum gave me the address," James said awkwardly, entering the kitchen.

"James!" said Lily looking up at the door where James was standing.

"Hi… uh"

"Oh sorry," said Lily looking down and realising she was wearing only a skirt and a green bra.

"It's okay…" said James looking away.

"Uh what are you doing here?" said Lily pulling on her blouse and doing the buttons, "You could have just sent any official stuff to the lawyer"

"What do you mean official stuff?" said James.

"You filed for divorce right? You didn't need to come all this way, just send it to Clara," said Lily who had started to wipe down the already immaculate kitchen countertops.

"No, I haven't filed for divorce"

"Oh then… what?"

"Last week, at the hospital, the baby," said James wondering if he had imagined it all.

"Oh"

"Yeah, you didn't think I would just ignore the fact that I have a son"

"James, why are you doing this? Just go back to your life. You don't have to do this, it's alright"

"Alright. Lily, I have a son and you didn't tell me"

"You don't have to feel obligated to do anything."

"Obligated…" said James, hardly believing what he was hearing.

"I just mean, that you don't have to come here and pretend you want to be part of his life. Nobody in London knows about it, except Clara, go back to your life"

"He's my son as well"

"I made the decision and I'm sticking by it"

"What decision was that then?" said James angrily.

"Keep your voice down, my baby is asleep"

"Our baby, Lily our son," hissed James.

"What do you want me to say? We split up, I didn't see the point in putting either of us through that," said Lily trying to reason.

"Through what?"

"You being a part time parent, I know how much you wanted a family. And Harry having a part time dad, it isn't fair."

"You know how much I want a family, and yet you keep this from me"

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to trap you or force you into giving us another try"

"That is not an excuse," said James, "You should have told me"

"Maybe I should have, but I didn't and I can't change that now"

"Is that it?"

"Is that what?"

"Are you going to stop me seeing him? Am I going to have to go through the courts to get access? Or can we be amicable?'

"I'm not going to stop you doing anything, I wouldn't stop either of you seeing each other. I'm just giving you the chance to walk away, being a parent is hard especially when we're separated. I won't think any less of you if you did"

"You should know me well enough to know that I can't do that. I want to be part of his life"

"What about…."

"No, I want to be there for him"

"Alright," sighed Lily knowing it was useless to try and talk him out of it. "Why don't you come back this afternoon about 4pm, we can talk and Harry will be up then"

"Okay, four o'clock I'll be here," said James surprised by Lily's willingness.

--------------------------------------------

LATER THAT DAY 

"So is that everything?" asked Lily, she and James had been talking for almost an hour.

"Uh yeah, except maintenance," said James.

They had agreed that James could see Harry when he had time off from work, as long as he gave Lily at least 2 days notice. But for the first few weeks he had to stay at Lily's house until Harry was used to him.

"I don't want your money James"

"But…"

"If you want to help him, set up a trust for him when he leaves Hogwarts," said Lily knowing James well enough to know that he would want to help.

"But something now to…"

"He doesn't need it now, I'm vice president," said Lily, she worked for a research company that was trying to find cures for curses, potions and even werewolf bites.

"Lily please let me help"

"Fine, his vault is 317"

"Alright," said James.

"Well I suppose you want to see him now," said Lily getting up.

"If he's still asleep…" said James even though he was desperate to see him.

"It's fine, if I let him sleep much longer he won't sleep tonight, I'll go and get him," she said then she went upstairs.

"Here he is," said Lily coming back with Harry and putting him in James' arms.

He was so overwhelmed he didn't know what to say or do. He was so perfect, he looked just like him. His son, his and Lily's son, a child made purely out of love. Just the sight of his son made James feel a sudden surge of overwhelming love and the need to protect him from the world he was born into.

"He's…. he's pretty damn handsome," said James.

"Yeah and your not at all biased. It's not like you're his father or he looks exactly like you," laughed Lily.

"I don't know what you mean"

"You always were a vain git. Anyway I'll leave you two alone. I'll be in the kitchen making up his bottles," said Lily then she got up.

"Thanks for this," said James.

"It's not problem, like you said he's your son too," shrugged Lily, then she went into the kitchen.

---------------------------------------

Lily went into the kitchen and collapsed onto one of the chairs. She always knew it would be hard to see James again, but she never expected the heartache to come back so strongly. She never knew how much she missed him, how she ached for him.

Throughout her pregnancy, she was in pieces. She was heartbroken, emotional and pregnant. Every time something happened, she just fell apart and wanted James. Every time Harry kicked, every scan, every time she went shopping for baby stuff, she was always in tears because he should have been with her, but he wasn't.

At night she would wake up and just burst into tears, because he wasn't next to her. He wasn't there to give her a cuddle and tell her everything would be alright.

When they were married she never knew how much she relied on him. It was the little things she missed, like when she used to wake up in the middle of night she could just turn round and he'd be there. And when she got freaked out about the war, he was always there to reassure her.

But when Harry was at the hospital when the deatheaters attacked, she was terrified. When she was in that waiting room, she just wanted to run over and hug him, just to have his arms round her, telling her everything would be alright.

Maybe she was being selfish when she didn't tell James about Harry, she just couldn't stand the pain of seeing him and not having him anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 

"Hey isn't that Lily, over there?" said Sirius to James. They were at the England Vs Poland, Quidditch match.

James looked over and there was Lily with Alice Longbottom, and Harry was sitting on her knee.

"Yeah," said James then he walked towards Lily and Harry.

"James, hi" said Lily slightly surprised to see him.

"Hi, I didn't expect to you here. You hate Quidditch," said James.

"Yeah I do, but this little guy here loves it. 4 months old and he can cheer for England," said Lily fondly patting Harry's head.

"Seriously, I didn't know that" James had been seeing Harry twice a week for a month.

"You're not there at bedtime, he scream bloody murder until I put the Chudley Cannons over the ages next to him in his crib," laughed Lily.

'Yeah I'm not there. I should be there, I should be with him at his first Quidditch match. What else am I going to miss? His first words, first step…everything'

"Uh… James, the game is starting," said Lily, James had zoned out absorbed in his own thoughts.

"Oh right, I'll uh come and see him at half time, okay?"

"Okay," said Lily.

James didn't watch the game at all. He couldn't help but stare over where Lily and Harry were. She wasn't kidding, Harry seemed to know exactly what was going on, he cheered and clapped his little hands when England scored. His little lungs must have been exhausted.

"Wow that was a great first half, wasn't it?" said Sirius at half time.

"Uh… yeah," said James.

"You weren't even watching"

"Sorry I can't help it, I'm going to go and see Harry," said James.

"Well, I think I had the loudest fan here on my lap," laughed Lily when she saw James.

"Yeah I saw him," said James, "at least he was cheering for the right team. Can I?"

"Yeah, here" said Lily handing James Harry.

"Hey, little guy I've missed you," said James gently jiggling Harry in his arm. Harry squealed in delight.

"You're great with him," commented Lily.

"I must be a natural"

"Yeah you must be," said Lily, "Could you do me a favour?"

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Can you watch him? I really do hate this, I think both you will enjoy the game more with each other"

"Uh yeah of course, I'd love to"

"Thanks, can you just bring him back after the game?"

"Yeah great. Thank you"

"Okay, here is his bag, there is nappies and everything he'll need in here, but if he needs me I'll be at home"

"We'll be fine," said James. This was the first time, he had been left alone with Harry.

"I'm sure you will. You love spending time with your daddy don't you Harry," said Lily then she kissed the top of his head, "Thank you"

"You're welcome," said James then he lowered his head so he was eye level with Lily, "and stop worrying, we'll be fine"

"I know, I trust you. It's still the first time I've left him since the hospital…"

"I'd never let anything happen to him, I'd die before I let anything hurt him"

"I know, but I'm his mother it's my job to worry about him"

"I know, but he'll fine I promise"

"Okay, I'll see you both later. Have fun."

-----------------------------------

"Hey you two, how was the game?" said Lily when James appeared with Harry.

"We won, and you were right, he was definitely the loudest England fan there," said James as he handed Harry back to Lily.

"Yeah… mummy's little screamer. I missed you so much," said Lily kissing Harry's mop of wild raven hair. "Was he okay?"

"He was fine, an absolute angel. Although I think he was a bad influence on Sirius," said James.

"What do you mean _ he_ was a bad influence on _Sirius_? What did you let him inflict upon my baby?" said Lily with a raised eyebrow at James.

"Lily, don't tell James your nickname for me, he might get jealous," said Sirius dramatically as he appeared in the kitchen.

"Of course, you're my baby," said Lily rolling her eyes.

"Don't! James will be unspeakably jealous, and Harry too"

"Yeah yeah. You two go in the living room, I'm going to put Harry down for his nap," said Lily.

"I'll do it," said James taking Harry.

"Thanks"

------------------------------------------------------

"Shhhhhhh baby, it's time to sleep," said James as he gently rocked Harry to sleep.

"Do you want a bedtime story? Let's see… What about how I proposed to your mum? Do you want to hear that? I'll take that as a yes; Well it was the night before graduation, we'd only been going out 8 months. See I had adored her for years, she hated me I won't tell you why, but then she grew to love me. I took her out to the lake, it was great the moon was out the stars were shining. I didn't even know what I was about to do, I just turned to look at her and I…I just knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I got down on one knee, told her how much I loved her, and asked her to marry me and she said yes. I couldn't believe she actually wanted to marry me, she was so out of my league. Your mum she's the most beautiful woman in the world, I still haven't seen or meet anyone that even comes close to your mum." James looked down and saw that Harry was fast asleep, "Alright I get the hint, you don't want to hear me getting all slushy over her, fine" then he gently put him down in his crib.

Down in the kitchen Lily had heard everything.


	5. Chapter 5

_LAST CHAPTER_

…_Your mum she's the most beautiful woman in the world, I still haven't seen or meet anyone that even comes close to your mum." James looked down and saw that Harry was fast asleep, "Alright I get the hint, you don't want to hear me getting all slushy over her, fine" then he gently put him down in his crib._

_Down in the kitchen Lily had heard everything._

Chapter 5 

"That is him sleeping," said James coming down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Good"

"Where's Sirius?"

"Chatting up the neighbour," said Lily pointing out to the garden where Sirius was talking to a tall blonde woman.

"Unbelievable he finds someone to hit on anywhere," laughed James softly.

"Some things never change," laughed Lily.

"Yeah… I guess they don't," said James staring at Lily intently.

"Hmmmm…" said Lily then they heard Harry cough on the baby monitor.

"Uh how long has that been on?" asked James.

"Since he was born"

"Oh…uh"

"It's alright, it's nice that you told him that story. I never knew you weren't planning to propose. You had the ring in your dormitory," said Lily.

"My… uh mum gave it to after she met you"

"We had only been going out 3 months when I meet her the first time"

"Yeah and she loved you almost as much as I did," said James noticing just how close he and Lily were.

"So she gave you the family ring, when we'd only been together 3 months?"

"Yeah, you know my mother she always thought she was part psychic"

"Yeah I guess. You'll probably want it back, I mean it's a family heirloom… I guess you'll need it again one day," said Lily.

"No, no you keep it"

"It's yours, you should give it to your next wife… I'll get it, it's upstairs"

"No, it's yours, it will always be yours. I couldn't give it to anyone else"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, if nothing else I want Harry to have one day"

"Alright good, I love that ring"

"I loved giving it to you," said James lowering his head.

Before James could do anything, Lily had brought her lips to meet his.

He seemed to be unsure of how to be, it took him a second to realize what was going on and to respond. Lily wrapped her arms around his neck and placed his hands on her waist and soon they were, on her cheek and stroking her hair. Lily gripped her arms around his neck and clung there, certain that if she let go, she would fall straight to the floor. She could feel his tongue running across her bottom lip as the kiss deepened, and Lily automatically opened her mouth upon his, not minding the intrusion in the least. He was just as intoxicating as ever, she had missed his kisses so much She pressed herself against him harder, a groan escaping as his kisses became more impatient.

As soon as she pulled away, Lily felt her heart drop she suddenly felt as if a part of her was missing.

"Yesssssss," said Sirius bursting into the kitchen as Lily and James guiltily sprang apart.

"What?" asked Lily.

"I just got us dates with two hot blondes," said Sirius triumphantly, "You and me Prongs Saturday night"

"Uh I don't think I'm in the mood," said James, uncertainly looking at Lily.

"Come on, Prongs hot blondes… Oh Lily I…" said Sirius.

"It's fine. Lorraine is nice, so is her sister I'm guessing that is who you are talking about," said Lily.

"Uh yeah, I guess it's weird for you… you know after…" stuttered Sirius.

"What after being married for 6 six years? Don't worry it's fine, I think you guys would have fun," said Lily each word bringing a sharp pain through her heart.

"Come on, you don't even have to bang her, just amuse the sister so I can bang that one," said Sirius.

"Excuse you," snapped Lily.

"Uh I mean treat her with the utmost respect, and then when she is ready make sweet love to her… in a public bathroom," grinned Sirius.

"Like that is so much better," said Lily rolling her eyes.

"So come on Prongs please," pleaded Sirius.

"I said I'd watch Harry on Saturday night, Lily is going out to dinner with Clara," said James.

"It's alright my mother can watch him," said Lily.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah of course, she's always moaning she hardly gets to see him"

"Alright okay. But I'm only doing this for you, I'm not interested in any blonde okay?"

"Fine, fine. He'll change his mind though as soon as he gets a hard on, he won't care where he sticks it," said Sirius.

"You're being vulgar now," Lily snapped.

"Sorry," said Sirius sheepishly then he looked at his watch, "Anyway I better go, I've got a date, see you"

"Bye"

"See you later mate"

Sirius went outside and apparated, leaving James and Lily alone in the kitchen.

"Look Lily… I…" started James.

"Shhhh don't say anything," said Lily then she grabbed his hand and led him up stairs….

**10 minutes later**

"Whew wow," panted James lying down next to Lily on her bed.

"Yeah," said Lily. She had just had her first orgasm in months, so her mind was a little hazy.

"I… uh guess I should call Sirius and cancel that double date," said James.

That brought Lily right back down to earth. She abruptly stood up.

"Why would you do that?"

"Well we… us…"

"I'm sorry James, I don't know what happened… I just… maybe it would be best if we forgot about this…."

"Really?" said James crestfallen.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I was just caught up in the past… oh forget it I was as horny as hell," said Lily deciding to be totally honest.

"Fair enough," said James laughing softly at Lily's total honesty.

"I hope this doesn't change anything… you know make things awkward between us, you know Harry and everything."

"Of course not," said James, "I'll just get going then"

"Okay. Are you sure? Do you want some tea or something?"

"No I'm fine. I'll come by on Thursday to see Harry"

"Okay"

And both of them went about their business, both feeling a heartbreaking disappointment, and the pain of knowing that they might never get the person they loved back.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 

"Prongs will you look alive," Sirius hissed at James.

It was Saturday night, they were in a restaurant with the two girl Sirius got them dates with. James had hardly said anything, he just kept thinking about Lily and how he wanted to here with her. And of course it didn't help that Lily and Clara were having dinner in the same restaurant.

"Huh… oh sorry," said James pulling himself out of his thoughts.

"Come on, you've hardly spoke to Bianca all night," said Sirius then he added in a whisper, "You'll definitely score tonight"

"I don't want to score tonight," James muttered to Sirius.

"How many times have you had sex since Harry's conception?" Sirius asked not bothering to keep his voice down now.

James just glared at him and got up, "I'm going to the bathroom!"

James walked towards the bathroom, and stole a discreet look at Lily and Clara's table. Lily wasn't there.

"Huh…what…" said James as someone pulled him into the coat closet.

Suddenly their arms were round his neck, as soon as her lips touched his he knew without a doubt that it was Lily, even though the closet was pitch black.

"Lily…wait," said James pulling away.

"Why? Wait how did you know it was me?"

"I kissed you every day for 8 years, trust me I'd know you anywhere."

"Oh… that makes sense, I guess," said Lily quietly.

"What is going on, Lily? What happened the other day, then this…"

"Um… I…uh," stuttered Lily stepping back from James.

"No, don't pull away from me. Just talk to me, tell me what is on your mind," said James, placing his hand on Lily's arms, which were started to flap.

"I don't know… I didn't like seeing you two," said Lily then she became aware that she was babbling, "Don't make Bianca, Harry's stepmother, he'll hate her"

"Don't worry," laughed James softly, "I have no intention of making _anyone _Harry's stepmother, ever"

"Good… it would confuse him…I guess," said Lily.

"You don't have to worry," said James then he whispered into Lily's ear, "I'm still married"

"Uh yeah I guess we still are… um…I'm sorry I don't know what I was thinking I just… what a mess… I'm sorry, we should just forget about this and before…. Yeah and I better get back… I'm sorry"

"Sweetie, stop babbling," he said putting his finger to Lily's lips, "I'm going back out there to make my excuses, you do the same and I'll meet you at the house in a few minutes, okay?"

"Um yeah okay," said Lily meekly.

"Okay then, ladies first," said James charmingly, as he held open the door.

"Thanks"

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"I thought you weren't coming," said James getting up from the armchair he was sitting on.

"Yeah, sorry. It took a while to say bye to Clara, it's been a while since we've seen each other," said Lily as she stood awkwardly in the doorway, "It's been a while," she said looking round the room, she hadn't been back in this house since she collected her things when she left James.

"Yeah, the place isn't the same without you. I can never remember what way the pillows go," said James indicating towards to couch.

"I see that, you've done them all wrong," she said then she went over and fixed them.

"Leave them, we have to talk. I haven't been able to sit on that couch since you left anyway," said James.

Lily looked down at the ground remembering what she had done, "I am sorry about that. I never meant to hurt you"

"How could that not hurt me?"

"I don't know, I just though that it would make us even, help me get over you and Kelly…"

"That didn't mean anything…"

"It did though, it did to me. You were my husband, and you just tell me one day that you kissed her. I… I could see the image of you two in my head every time I closed my eyes, you broke my heart each and every night," said Lily getting emotional.

"I'm so sorry… I never meant to"

"But you did. Every time you were at work, or with Sirius in fact every time you left the house, I always wondered where you were, who you were with… I was slowly breaking down and you… you didn't even notice."

"I'm sorry, I had no idea things were that bad. I thought I was doing the right thing by telling you, I wanted to be honest"

"Well I wish you had never told me,"

"I'm sorry, how many times have I apologized? Please, I know you still feel something can't we just give it another go?"

Lily took a step away from him, shaking her head.

"No, we can't"

"Why?"

"Because I can't trust you…. I won't put Harry through what we both went through. I can't do that to him, I won't"

"But…."

"No buts. It's not fair on Harry, on you, on me."

"And you think _this_ is fair! I never know what you're going to do, kiss me or slap me"

"I'm sorry, but it's hard for me, having you back in my life. I don't know…."

"I love you. I love you so much, I never stopped and letting you walk out that door was the biggest mistake of my life, and I will always regret it."


	7. Chapter 7

_PREVIOUSLY _

_"Because I can't trust you…. I won't put Harry through what we both went through. I can't do that to him, I won't" _

_"But…." _

_"No buts. It's not fair on Harry, on you, on me." _

_"And you think this is fair! I never know what you're going to do, kiss me or slap me" _

_"I'm sorry, but it's hard for me, having you back in my life. I don't know…." _

_"I love you. I love you so much, I never stopped and letting you walk out that door was the biggest mistake of my life, and I will always regret it."_

Chapter 7 

It had been over a month since James and Lily had spoken at the restaurant. Things couldn't have been more awkward between them. James could barely even look at her. And Lily was just avoiding the entire situation, and she kept tried to pretend it never happened.

"Oh…um we're back now," said James awkwardly. He had taken Harry to a Quidditch game and had just come to Lily's house to drop him off. Lily was in the kitchen pouring over stacks of documents.

"Already?"

"Uh…yeah, the game ended quite quickly. I can keep him for longer, though. I have the day off," said James, not looking at Lily but at a spot just behind her left ear.

"No it's fine, I'm sure you have plans," said Lily overly cheerily, trying to make things feel more comfortable.

"I don't mind."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, you look like you have a lot of work to do."

"Well yeah. Why don't you both just hang out here until I'm done?"

"Uh…okay, that'd be okay…I guess."

"Great."

James took Harry through to the living room, and sat him on his lap so that he was facing him.

"Well little man, I'm pretty sure your mum hates me," sighed James. "It can't go on much longer can it? It can't be good for you to feel such an atmosphere between your parents. But I don't know what to do. Why is it I never know what to do with your mum? Maybe if I hadn't told her I kissed Kelly, she wouldn't have brought that guy home and we'd still be together. You'd be growing up in a house with both parents, who were happy together. Because I do love your mum, I really do. She just doesn't love me anymore, or trust me. I don't know which, maybe both."

"You really shouldn't use our son as your therapist," said Lily, trying to lighten the mood. She had decided to finish the rest of her work when Harry was in bed.

"Well excuse me. He actually listens which is more than some people do," snapped James.

"James…I didn't mean…"

"I assume you've finished working?"

"For now."

"Then I'll take off. I'll pick Harry up at noon on Friday," said James harshly.

"Okay," mumbled Lily. She took Harry from him. Just as he was about to brush past her she reached out and touched his arm. "James…" she said softly.

"What?" he said less harshly, the pain visible in his face.

"I don't hate you."

"But you don't love me either. You don't want to give our marriage another try?"

Lily didn't say anything, she just dropped her hand from his arm.

"I didn't think so."

"Don't hate me for not wanting to either of us to get hurt again," she said quietly.

But he was gone.

--------------------------------------------------

"Is he ready yet?"

It was Friday at 12 noon exactly and James was picking Harry up. He was always right on time now He didn't come early so he didn't have to spend any unnecessary time with Lily. But he was never late, he didn't want to give Lily any excuse to stop him seeing Harry, even though he knew deep down she never would.

"Almost," said Lily nervously.

"I did say I would be here at noon for him," said James, irritated.

"Yeah sorry, come in, though," said Lily.

"Alright."

"I actually need to talk to you about something anyway," said Lily as she closed the front door behind him.

"Unless it's to do with Harry, I'm not interested."

"It is," said Lily, unable to keep the hurt out of her voice any longer.

"Well then, what is it?"

"I've been offered a new job and I've decided to take it…"

"What does this have to do with me?" James interrupted.

"Well, if you would let me finish you would find out," snapped Lily. She was fed up with him talking to her like that.

"Sorry," said James sincerely. He knew he was being horrible to her, he just didn't know how else to deal with the situation.

"As I was saying. I've accepted this job and it's pretty far away, so we'll be moving."

"Moving where?" asked James. It was generally safe to apparate round Britain still. But Death Eaters had taken to intercepting foreign apparitions.

"Switzerland, the lab is based in Switzerland," said Lily nervous, about how he was going to react.

"Switzerland?"

"Yeah."

"As in Switzerland, the one next to Austria…"

"Among other countries…" said Lily, unsure of how to respond to that.

"And you're taking Harry with you?"

"Yes."

"You can't," said James in total shock.

"I can and I am."

"But…But…"

"Look, James, this makes sense," said Lily. She _did_ feel bad for him, she knew how much he loved Harry. Maybe it was selfish, but she couldn't go on like this. It hurt too much to be around James the way things were between them. She had to get away and start afresh, and the job seemed like the answer.

"Makes sense? Alright, let's hear it then, Lily! How the _hell_ does taking my son to Switzerland make sense?" said James, furious.

"Don't shout at me!"

"What the hell am I supposed to do?"

"Talk like a civilized adult! Act like a grown up, a responsible parent!"

"I am a responsible parent!" snapped James.

"I didn't say you weren't, I just told you to act like it!" she shouted.

"You didn't answer my question!"

"Switzerland is safer! The war hasn't spread over there!"

"Yet!" James interrupted again.

"It'll take years to ever spread that far! It safer for Harry there, I want to protect him from all this! I don't want him growing up the way things are, where people are scared to leave their homes! I want better for him! I am not going to let those people kill my son!"

"He isn't in danger!"

"He is! Come on, James! I'm a mudblood that gave birth to heir of one of the richest, oldest wizarding families! That makes him a possible target, it makes _both_ of us a possible target!"

"So you're running away?"

"Yes that is _exactly_ what I'm doing! Maybe I _am_ a coward, but at least when all this is over, I'll be alive and so will my son!"

"What about me?"

"The decision to live is yours."

"I meant me being able to see my son!" snapped James.

"I'll never stop from you seeing him."

"Moving to Switzerland is stopping me from seeing him! You know the restrictions on appartion now!"

"It means you won't see him as often. But you can come visit, come for holidays. You can spend weeks at a time with him."

"With the war, I'm lucky to get a _day_ off, never mind weeks!" said James desperately.

"I'm sorry, James my mind is made up," said Lily firmly.

There was another pause, but this time it wasn't awkward. It was just painful. Pure, aching pain.

"When do you leave?"

"3 days."

------------------------------------------

I know I haven't updated in a LONG TIME!! I hope it was worth the waiy

I'd like to say a huge thanks to my beta mystrymoviebrunette she came up with this idea for the strory and helped a little with it. So thank you ur the bestest.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"James… it's time for us to go," said Lily sadly. She and Harry had to use the Portkey in the next 3 minutes before it expired. If a Portkey expired then the object just lost it's magic and became useless. The ministry had come up with this to minimize interception from Death Eaters.

"Okay," said James, holding Harry tighter to him. Lily gave him a sad, knowing look, telling him she understood. "How am I supposed to let him go?"

"I don't know," said Lily emotionally. She could see the heartbreak in James' eyes, she knew how much it was hurting him to let Harry go. But she couldn't back out now: she had sold the house, and the company she was working for had found her and Harry a house in Switzerland.

"Okay, here," said James, handing Harry to Lily. "You will call, won't you? Just so I can talk to him, so he doesn't forget my voice."

"Of course, and you know you can visit anytime," said Lily, meaning it with all her heart as her eyes filled up.

"I know," said James emotionally.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt you even more," said Lily, the tears falling freely down her cheeks.

"I know," he said, wiping them with his thumb.

"Here, you should take this," said Lily, reaching into her pocket and taking out her engagement ring.

"Lily…I don't want it back."

"Come on don't be silly. Take it," said Lily tearfully.

"No…"

"Look, it's your family's ring."

"I told you, I want it to go to Harry."

"And one day it will, but you'll probably need it before he does," said Lily.

"I guess," sighed James, taking the ring from her sadly.

"I have to go."

"Okay," said James. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and then did the same to Harry.

"This is for the best. We only end up hurting each other. This is less painful for all three of us," said Lily, tears stinging her cheeks. "I don't want to hurt anymore, and I don't want to hurt you."

"It's doesn't hurt less for me. I lose everything."

"I'm sorry."

"I know. You better go," said James sadly.

"Bye James."

"Goodbye Lily."

And with one more tearful look Lily picked up the Portkey and she and Harry disappeared before James' eyes.

James' stood there for ten minutes after they had gone, before he apparated back to the house. He took one look round the house he and Lily had shared for so long and he broke down. His family was gone, they were starting a new life. A new life he wasn't a part of.

And he couldn't help but blame himself.

----------------------------------------

"Prongs, mate, go home!" said Sirius a week later. James had been at work for 6 days straight, since the morning after Lily and Harry had left. He was a mess, he hadn't shaved, and there were dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. He just looked broken.

"Why? I'm needed here," said James, still filing his reports.

"You're no use to anyone right now. You haven't slept in 5 days, you're exhausted."

"I feel fine," insisted James.

"We both know that is _not_ true."

"Physically, I feel fine."

"Come on, mate, just get some sleep, you'll feel better," said Sirius. James was really starting to worry him, if we went out in battle like that he would get himself killed.

"I highly doubt that."

"Look, you need to get sleep. If you don't and there is an attack, you'll get yourself killed."

"I'll be fine."

"What about Harry? Do you want him to grow up without a dad?"

"I doubt he'd notice the difference. I'll be lucky if I get to see him before Christmas," said James bitterly.

"Christmas isn't that far away."

"3 months away. 3 months without seeing my son…" said James incredulously. If he didn't throw himself into his work, he would just wallow.

"Alright. Can't you talk to Lily?"

"You think I haven't tried?"

"What about Moody? Can't you ask him if you can take a leave of absence or something? Or transfer to Switzerland?"

"The Ministry is not going to let anyone transfer," sighed James.

"Then quit!"

"What?"

"You heard me! Quit! You don't need the money!"

"Sirius…"

"No listen to me!" said Sirius, as he banged his fist on James' desk making him pay attention. "You are whining and moaning about not being able to see Lily and Harry! Don't just sit round and do nothing! Find a way to see them! Find a way to make Lily admit she loves you! Find a way to get your wife back! Find a way to be a family!"

Sirius was right. He had to do something. He couldn't just let his family slip through his fingers. He was going to get them back.


	9. Chapter 9

"_No listen to me," said Sirius, "You are whining and moaning about not being able to see Lily and Harry. Don't just sit round and do nothing. Find a way to see them. Find a way to make Lily admit she loves you. Find a way to get your wife back! Find a way to be a family!"_

_Sirius was right. He had to do something. He couldn't just let his family slip through his fingers. He was going to get them back._

**Chapter 9**

He did it. He finally did it, he listened to Sirius. James had quit his job and came to Switzerland. After a good night's sleep, everything seemed so much clearer. He loved his son and his wife. Lily still loved him, he knew she did. She was just afraid of being hurt. He was going to prove to her that he would never hurt her again. He knew what he would lose if he did. So all he had to do was get her back.

It was around 4 AM local time. He knew Lily and Harry would be asleep, but he just wanted to be near them. So he was standing on the street outside their new house, and he couldn't help but ache for them. They were so close, but still so far away. He had been there for almost an hour, and he was just about to leave and go back to his hotel when he saw the light in the downstairs front room go on. Through the curtains he could make out Lily pacing up and down, with Harry in his arms. James could hear his screams from the street.

* * *

"Come on Harry, go to sleep," said Lily, rubbing Harry's back. He hadn't slept at all during the night since they moved. He would take naps at jumbled times during the day, when he was too exhausted to stay awake. He was off his food as well. Lily thought she was going to have to take him to the hospital if it carried on.

"You miss your Daddy, don't you?" she whispered, and she instantly knew that was why he was so distressed. He missed James. "I miss him too. But we have to get used to him not always being there. Because one day, he's going to get married and have other children. He's still going to love you and be there for you. But he can't bear to be around me now, it'll only get worse. He'll end up hating me because I took you away."

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Instinctively Lily cast a silencing charm on Harry and placed him in a travel cot in the corner. She drew her wand, and slowly opened the door.

"It's okay, Lils, it's just me, James," he said softly. He should have known she would be scared, someone knocking on the door in the middle of the night.

"How do I know it's you?" He could hear her voice, but not see her.

"You're favourite flavour of ice cream is peach. I have a tiny birthmark on the sole of my left foot," said James. Lily knew that they were the only people that knew those things.

"James? What are you doing here?" gasped Lily.

"Sorry if I scared you. I just saw the light on…I wanted to see you," he said apologetically.

"It's okay… Harry," she said, dashing into the front room again.

James closed the front door and followed her in. A few seconds later he heard Harry start screaming again.

"Hey, what's the matter little guy? What are you making all that noise for?" said James softly. He took Harry from Lily and gently rocked him. "There that's better, there is no need for all those tears." Harry almost immediately fell quiet.

"Wow…how did you do that? He's been up all night, every night," said Lily, looking shocked.

"Sometimes you just need a man's touch," grinned James. He was just so happy to be able to hold his son again. It felt like he hadn't seen him in a year instead of a week. He just seemed so different, as if he had grown in the past seven days.

"Sexist pig," laughed Lily. She was just so relieved to see James, and to finally have Harry settled.

"He's sound asleep, do you want me to put him in his cot?" said James softly.

"No, you're okay with him," said Lily. She knew how much James had missed Harry, she could tell just by the look in his eyes.

"Is it okay that I just showed up here in the middle of the night?"

"Of course it is. I'm glad you did, Harry was going to make himself ill," said Lily. Somehow things between weren't awkward, they were just talking the way they used to be able to.

"How long was he like that?"

"He's been up all night every night since we arrived. He's been off his food, and only sleeping when he's too tired to keep his eyes open. I was really worried," said Lily.

"At least he's sleeping now. If he still isn't eating properly in the morning, we'll take him to the doctor," said James.

"Okay. How long are you staying?"

"Indefinitely. If that is okay? I'll start looking for a place…I mean I'm booked in at a hotel and I'll start looking for something more permanent tomorrow," said James.

"Not necessary. You can stay here as long as you want," said Lily enthusiastically.

"Really?"

"Yeah, there is plenty of room."

"Thanks."

"No problem. You are actually going to live here?" asked Lily. James loved London, she never in a million years thought he would ever leave it. She slid onto the sofa next to James.

"Yes I am."

"Harry needs you. I never realised how much until we moved," said Lily as she swept stray hair out of Harry's face.

"I need him too. I missed him so much, I missed you both."

"We missed you."

"It amazing, I look at him and he seems different. How can he have changed in a week? He looks bigger, different."

"So do you. Did you cut your face?" said Lily, running her finger across the small cut on his chin.

"Yeah, I was in a rush," said James, turning his head to look straight at Lily.

"You look different too," he said softly.

"That is exhaustion. Your son has kept me up all night, all week."

"Then go to bed now," said James.

"I can't…"

"You can, I'll stay up with him."

"But…"

"No buts. You do look tired.

"Okay," said Lily. "His room is at the top of the stairs and the guest room is third on the… I'm going to wake up to find you asleep on the couch and Harry in the travel cot next you, aren't I?"

"You sure are."

"Okay then, I'll see you in the morning."

"Sweet dreams."

"You too," laughed Lily before she got up and made her way to her bedroom.

* * *

Yayyyy I updated again. Thanks to all the readers who have been reviewing keep it up I love reviews. And thank you to my awesome beta mystrymoviebrunnette. 


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 

Lily was lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling with a faint grin on her face. She had just left James downstairs with Harry. She couldn't explain it but somehow she felt better, more at peace, because she knew James was downstairs.

Except he wasn't.

She sat right up when she heard her bedroom door squeak open.

"Don't panic, it's only me," whispered James. Even though she wasn't scared anymore, Lily's heart started to race.

"James…what are you…"

"Shhhh…it's okay," said James, sitting down next to her on the edge of the bed. Then they fell into a silence.

"James?" Lily eventually said.

"Yes."

"Do you hate me? For everything I did to you… not just us…I mean do you hate me for not telling you about Harry, and then for me bringing him here? I mean both of those are unforgivable…"

"Not for me. I could forgive you for anything," said James. It was pitch black but they both knew they were looking each other straight in the eye.

"Why?" said Lily so quietly James could barely hear her.

"Because you're…you and I'm me," said James simply.

"James…"

"Shhhh. Tonight we play my way, but with your rules."

"I don't understand…"

"I want to stay here tonight…"

"James…" sighed Lily. They couldn't sleep together again, she couldn't do it again. She couldn't go back.

"I don't want sex Lily. I just want to sleep next to you, and then tomorrow we will play it your way and forget it ever happened," said James seriously.

"Okay," said Lily. She knew she shouldn't, she shouldn't be so close to James, but she also knew she couldn't help it. She couldn't refuse him anything, not after everything she had done to him.

"Okay," James repeated. Without another word, he conjured Harry's travel cot and placed him inside. Lily hadn't even noticed that James had Harry with him.

James undressed down to his boxers and a t shirt. Then he climbed into bed with Lily. He lay down next to her. He didn't reach out and pull her into his arms like he ached to do. He just lay there, enjoying being near his wife and son.

--------------------------------------------

Lily woke up the next morning and she immediately knew that James was lying next to her. She couldn't explain it, but she could just sense that he was there and he was still asleep. She had her back to him, so she turned round and there he was. He was asleep, facing her. He was gently snoring, his mouth was open just a little, and Lily couldn't have been happier to see him. She scooted closer to him, he was sound asleep he wouldn't know. She slid her head into the little nook in his neck, the way she used to. She could feel his body next to hers. Part of her wished he would wake up and wrap his arms around her the way he used to. But another part of her wished he wouldn't, because that would only complicate things and cause more heartbreak.

"Why does it always have to hurt so damn much when you're close?" she whispered.

"It doesn't have to," James whispered back.

"Wha…!" gasped Lily. James had just given her such a fright, that she jumped away.

"Lily…" he started.

Just then Harry started to stir in his cot.

"Sorry…I just…I thought you were asleep," she said.

"I was…" said James but then Harry started screaming, so he picked him up and shushed him. By the time he looked up again Lily was gone.

He picked up Harry and he walked down into the kitchen to find Lily standing waiting for the kettle to boil.

"Oh, there you are," said James.

"Yeah, I thought Harry would be wanting his bottle," said Lily.

"It certainly sounds like he does," said James. Harry was still screaming.

"Two minutes Harry," said Lily, deciding to magically heat the bottle instead. "Here," she said, handing James the bottle.

"Lily…" started James meaningfully, as he fed Harry.

"I thought you said we wouldn't talk about it," sighed Lily.

"I did say that. But I didn't say I wouldn't talk about what you said," said James, staring intently at her.

"I thought you were asleep."

"I was asleep until you woke me up," said James, searching her eyes for a sign to tell him what she was feeling.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to."

"Don't apologise."

"James, can't we just forget…" started Lily before James interrupted her.

"No we can't, not this time, not anymore. I don't want to forget anymore. I love you and I am going to do everything I can to win you back. So we are not going to forget about things like this, things that make me believe that you still love me as much as I still love you."

"I…uh…" Lily stuttered.

"That's okay Lily." He said seriously, looking into her eyes. "I don't expect you to fall into my arms right away. I know you better than that, I'm going to have to work really hard to get you to open up to me again. But I did it once and I'll do it again."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"James, are you here?" Lily shouted. She had come home from work early, the house seemed quiet. Maybe James had taken Harry for a walk.

"In here," he called from the living room.

"Where is Harry?" she asked. James was watching a Quidditch game, but she couldn't see Harry anywhere.

"He's exhausted," said James, pointing to the bundle of blankets next to him, where Harry was nestled right in the middle.

"How long has he slept?" asked Lily. She was relieved he had started to sleep again but she didn't want him to sleep all day and then not be able to sleep at night when he was supposed to.

"Not long. You look like you need a drink," said James. Lily looked awful: she was pale, and she looked exhausted and just plain miserable.

"I do, make it large one," she said gratefully.

"Coming up," said James, getting up and going into the kitchen.

"You don't have to look after me, you know," said Lily, having followed James into the kitchen and was now watching him make her a drink.

"I know I don't have to," he said, handing her the drink.

"Thank you," she said.

"But you need someone to look after you, you certainly don't do it yourself," sighed James.

"I'm fine," Lily insisted.

"You're not. You look exhausted. You need to start looking after yourself or you'll make yourself ill."

"It's nothing a good nights sleep won't fix and hopefully Harry will sleep right through the night," said Lily, polishing off her firewhiskey.

"I'll get up with him if he wakes up," said James.

"Thank you," said Lily.

"I am worried about you," said James, his eyes full of concern.

"Don't be," said Lily. He didn't have to know how miserable she was. She hated her new job, she thought she'd be researching ways to cure and tame werewolves but instead the company was researching methods of isolating them from society. She hated Switzerland, it was so foreign she didn't speak the language, she didn't know her way around. She just missed London and all her friends.

"Are you happy?"

"What?"

"Are you happy?" he repeated seriously. He was standing close to her looking down at her.

"Why are you asking me that?"

"I told you I'm worried about you. I want you to be happy. Is me being here making you unhappy?"

"No, don't be silly. You're such a big help with Harry…"

"We're not talking about Harry, forget about him right now. Am I making you unhappy by being here?" said James, staring intently at Lily.

"No…no you're not. Why would you think that?"

"What you said earlier…it hurts you when I'm close. I don't want to hurt you." Said James sadly.

"James…you're not doing anything wrong," sighed Lily.

"That wasn't what I asked."

Lily took a step forward so that she was almost touching James. He had always been taller than her, so he couldn't see her face. Her head was just under his chin, she leaned into him so that there bodies were touching. It wasn't a hug, she didn't pull her arms round him or anything. Her body was just touching his.

"What do you want me to say?" she asked quietly, speaking to his neck.

"The truth," said James. Everything in his body was telling him to wrap his arms around her and never let her go, but he fought it.

"Really? If I tell you truth, you promise you won't leave?"

James closed his eyes painfully, he already knew the answer. "I promise," he whispered.

"Yes it hurts, it always hurts me when you're near me."

"I'm sorry…" he said. He placed his hands on her shoulder, and slid them down her arms until he was holding her wrists.

"It is not your fault and it doesn't mean I want you to leave," said Lily quietly. She leaned closer into James, burrowing her head into his shoulder. "Because no matter how much it hurts when you're close, it's ten times worse when you're gone."

"It doesn't need to hurt all the time," said James.

"If you know how it make it go away then I'm open to ideas."

"Let me love you. Love you properly. Let me make the pain I caused go away."

"What about the pain I caused? I caused so much more pain for you. Not only did I cheat, you didn't even know you were a dad until Harry was 3 months old and even then I didn't come to you and tell you. You just found out. Then I confused you by sleeping with you and kissing you …then I came to Switzerland…and you…you," said Lily, her voice trailing off.

"Shhhhh, it's okay," said James. He took his hand off her wrists, and embraced her whole body with his arms and pulled her to him.

"I'm sorry, James," she whispered.

"It's okay."

"No…no it's not. I don't deserve you…I've been so terrible to you…I never meant to," said Lily, and even though James couldn't see her face, he knew she was close to tears. "Please believe me when I say I didn't want to hurt you. You were the last person I would ever want to hurt. I just thought…I would show you what it felt like…when you kissed her…I just felt like…my life was over…and I wanted you to know what you had done to me because you didn't seem to realise."

"I'm sorry, I was insensitive."

"You don't have anything to apologise for, whatever you did I have done something ten times worse," said Lily, tears rolling down her face. She pulled her arms up and wrapped them round his neck, without raising her head from his shoulder.

"We've both made mistakes. We've both messed up. But I love you, I could never love anyone else the way I love you. I want you back. I want to put everything all the shit we've done and been through behind us. I want a fresh start. I want us to be a family," said James powerfully, as he stroked Lily's hair.

"But…how can you….after everything…"

"I told you we both messed up but we still love each other. If you can forgive me…"

"I can…I have…"

"Then what is stopping us? I forgive you for everything, for kissing that guy, for keeping Harry from me, for coming here. I forgive you."

"How can you?"

"Because I drove you to it. If I hadn't kissed Kelly, you wouldn't have kissed that guy, you wouldn't have left, you wouldn't have kept Harry from me and you wouldn't be here."

"But…"

"No buts, Lily. There are really only a few questions I need the answers to," he said before he took a deep breath and continued. "Do you still love me?"

"I never stopped, never."

"Do you want to be with me again?"

"Yes.

"Then lets do it," said James, pulling away and looking down at Lily. "What do you say? I swear I will never ever give you a reason to doubt me or to leave again. Can we give this another shot?"

"One condition."

"Anything."

"Take us home, back to London."

"Done."

And so they did what they had both been aching to do since they separated. They got back together.


End file.
